Homeschool Mom 101
- Through Angel's Eyes
- Jan 2
- 3 min read
I was so thrilled to come across this old photo last night. It took me back to 2014, when our daughter was 14.
She was and still is the light of our lives. She is 25 years old now and lives 3.5 hours away from us. So, I found joy in sending her that picture, hoping she remembered that time as fondly as I did.
But this morning, I awoke with homeschooling on my mind.
The grind of it weighed heavily on my spirit.
The days of struggling to get assignments completed, the worry of thinking she wasn’t learning enough, or that she wasn’t going to be on task with her grade level.
The constant need to find creative ways to keep her engaged. The scheduling of her school hours around our family business hours.
Worrying to find the balance in making our home feel like a school room where she could learn, but also a home where she and I could relax.
It was hard. It was really hard.
If I am being frank with you…some days I secretly cried, some days I screamed, and some days I begged God to let that cup pass from me.
I kept telling the Lord, “I am not cut out to be a Homeschool Mom. I did not get a bachelor’s degree in anything, much less teaching. Please let me send her to a public, private, or Christian school, so that she doesn’t fail in education because of my lack of knowledge!”
But it wasn’t the Lord that made my decision, it was Marisa herself. She could not go. She refused to go.
Oh, I tried to take her several times.
I signed her up and bought all the clothes and the book supply list. I rolled up in the car line to let her out 3 times.
And every time I did that, it crushed her soul a little more.
She did not want it. She could not make herself do it.
My husband would say, “It is obvious that homeschooling is what is best for her.”
I could not fathom how homeschooling would be best for her because I knew it would rely on me.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried my best every day, but often I felt like I was failing. And worse than that, I felt like I was failing her.
Every assignment she did well on would be overshadowed by something I tried to teach her that she could not grasp.
Then at the end of every year, I would take her to be professionally tested.
For the entire car ride, I gave her this big, long speech: “If you do not pass this test, you’re going back to public school next year. Because you know as well as I do that you have not finished all your assignments.”
Every time the Psychologist would meet with me after she graded the test, she would say, “Your daughter is so smart, she has passed this test with flying colors.”
I would turn to Marisa, shock in my eyes, and she would be smiling from ear to ear. “Well, I guess I get to be homeschooled another year.”
“Yep, I guess you do,” I would reply, relieved to spend the summer knowing that she was on par with her age group.
FYI: Today, she is set to graduate this May with an MHA (Master of Healthcare Administration) at MUSC College of Health Professions.
Praise the Lord!
My advice to the Homeschool Mom who fears that she is not cut out to homeschool:
1. We should always make sure our children know we believe in them, and I did, but looking back, I wish I had believed in myself as well.
2. Enjoy it more and worry less, having faith that the Lord will take over where we fall short.
-Angel Diane-Author/Speaker
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WaitingWell
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